Dear Fairy Godmother...My first wish is......

By now it's clear I'm no fan of the "lying liar that lies" Heidi Diaz. I believe the evidence gathered around the internet by a fabulous flock of Ducks shows that Heidi Diaz, aka Kimmer of Kimkins infamy set out to line her pockets and enjoy the pain she's inflicted on others with the starvation that is the Kimkins diet plan.

Knowing that, and believing that Kimmer will eventually face criminal charges, in addition to the civil liability suit for fraud and other crimes she's already facing, I want to ask my Fairy Godmother (if I have one) to grant me this wish:

Upon conviction for her crimes, please remand Heidi Diaz to the custody of my hero Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona. Here are just of few of Sheriff Joe's accomplishments and I heartily applaud him for each and every one!

*Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million dollars a year on strayanimals, like cats and dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay.The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners. They feed and care for the strays. Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily.He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. Theygive great classes for anyone who'd like to adopt an animal. He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and had them place in dog shows.The best part? His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million. Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals.

*He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work and harvesting by hand.He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer. It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 - $8 for the holidays, and plant it later.

*He created the Tent City Jail.

*He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

*He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails and took away their weights.

*Cut off all but 'G' movies.

*He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects. Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.

*He took away cable TV until he found out there was A Federal Court Order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable again with two channels: The Disney Channel and The Weather Channel.

*He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value. When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't theRitz/Carlton.....if you don't like it, don't come back!"

*He bought Newt Gingrich's lecture series on videotape that he pipes into thejails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.

*With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix, he has about 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail. When the inmates called this treatment inhumane, Arpaio replied, "It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too; and they have to wear full battle gear. But they didn't commit any crimes. So shut your mouths!"

*By the way, he was reelected last year with 83% of the vote.

So, dear Fairy Godmother, I think Sheriff Arpaio has a lot to teach Heidi Diaz about the proper way to behave, and how to WORK to actually earn a living, rather than lying to people to earn one. Tough love you might call it.

Now, for my second wish...........