I'm struggling right now.
I'm stalled.
No longer losing weight, but not gaining either.
I'm frustrated, and wondering what I can do to get the scale moving down again.
But, I'm not just struggling with the scale. I'm struggling with my thoughts. I'm haunted by the things Heidi Diaz taught me during my 3 months on the Kimkins diet program. I constantly struggle to eat fat. I feel guilty when I put butter on something. I question using half and half in my coffee. Maybe 1400-1500 calories a day is too much?
Maybe not.
I'm trying to follow the Protein Power Lifeplan which encourages eating enough fat, protein and calories to keep your metabolism going. But, still that old Kimkins mentality sets in. Am I eating too much? Maybe I could be a little stricter about measuring? Do I really need to eat so much?
I've learned so much about eating disorders by going on this "Kimkins is very dangerous" journey. It scares the hell out of me when I realize that I was in the beginning stages of developing anorexia nervosa due to this diet. I was proud of how few calories I could eat and get by. So, why did I hide it from my family? The same reason I hid my dizzy spells and hair loss. I knew they'd freak out. Plus, I LOVED feeling in control of my appetite for the first time in my life.
You may be thinking - but didn't you already have an eating disorder at 100 lbs overweight? No, I don't really think so. What I had was a severe lack of knowledge over how my body works. I was never one to eat multiple meals at one sitting, full containers of ice cream, or nosh on junk food all the time. I was just eating way too many carbs - mostly in the form of whole grains and brown rice - which kept my appetite roaring all day, every day.
So, I continue my journey to lose my last 50 lbs. But, I'm not in search of skinny. I'm in search of a healthy, slender, attractive body. That's why I'm not tempted to return to Kimkins, no matter how many times some of that mentality slides through my brain. I know I cannot get healthy, slender and attactive by doing Kimkins.
And, trust me, you can't reach your goals doing Kimkins either.
Say NO to Kimkins Web Ring
| Say "NO" To Kimkins Ring Owner: WildAngel6 Site: Just Say "NO" to Kimkins! |
||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| Get Your Free Web Ring by Bravenet.com |
||||
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Bless you...
That eating Disordered thinking really takes hold of you.
Congrats on doing this the right way and more importantly, for the right reasons.
Best of luck to you.
Congratulations on your efforts to leave the destructive Kimkins ideas behind. Change is hard, but it sounds like you're on the right track.
You are among friends.(((hugs)))
OYB
My blog: Kimorexia
congrats on sticking with your journey to make yourself a healtheir you.
If it is any consolation as we can all see on the front page of Kimkins.com Kimmer is struggling too and she is supposedly following her plan and advice you know it isn't the advise you need to be following.
Hey Mayberryfan, we didn't even realize you had a blog! Thankfully WildAngel6 and OhYeahBabe have been posting "recommended reading" sorts of posts at the fascination thread, and we just now noticed one has a link to your blog here. Nice to "meet" you and we wish you well as you continue to recover from your experiences at the hands of Kimmer. Please know you're lifted by the hearts of so many friends who are going through the same thing with you. Hang in there -- the fall of the Evil Kimpire won't be complete unless you and the other Survivors do indeed Survive.
Mayberry Fan,
Bless you for your blog. I am sure it will help many who are struggling. I'm sorry for what you have gone through and support you all the way for getting away from Kimkins. I think you will be fine. You sound so smart for realizing what KK is and why you need to get away from that whole line of thinking. But I am routing for you all the way!
Post a Comment