Honoring a life lived well

My dear Uncle Lloyd passed away today. But, I am not really sad. Born in 1922, a World War II veteran, a widower, a proud father and one of the kindest and most decent men to ever walk the planet, he lived a full, quiet life.

He was never one to complain, though he certainly had trials and difficulties in his life. His wife, my father's sister, was bi-polar and put him through many years of misery. But still, he worshipped her. His only son died in a car accident in 1973 at the age of 18. Yet, he lived and worked in a quiet way. Always, always there as a devoted father to his daughter. A proud and devoted grandfather, too. A smiling, gentle, southern gentleman who would beat the pants off almost anyone who dared play cards with him!

As I sat at his bedside a day ago holding his hand and reflecting on his life and mine, I made peace with his leaving. Even though he was very ill with cancer, he was surrounded by people who loved and admired him. His Hospice nurse Susan has become a member of the family and it was clear that she loved him as much as we did and always will. And, as I thought about how many people care for and admire my Uncle Lloyd. I thought about how he lived his life in a way that was unremarkable, really. He never wanted to be the center of attention or have people fussing over him. And that's what made him so lovable. He never really thought he was so great. But, we all knew better!

Then I began thinking about how many great people there are like this in my life. I guess I really am a lucky girl. I also thought about the kinds of people that I never want to be like. The selfish, narcissistic, stab-anyone-in-the-back-for-a-dollar kind of person, or someone who would do anything for a little more attention. Tell a few more lies so some poor sucker will give you money in order to curry your favor. I think we all know to whom I am referring. Though, I won't stoop so low as to mention her name in this post. She, and others like her are not fit to share this particular place.

But, I will ask this of her: Who will sit at your bedside when you are dying to hold your hand? Who will cry when you are gone? Who will love you and honor you and give you medicine and drops of water just to keep you comfortable as long as possible when your time comes? Have you cared in the slightest way for anyone other than yourself? How very sad that the answer is no.

For many people that I am privileged to know, the answers to those questions are sure and certain. For others that I know of, the answers are just as sure and certain, but far more tragic.

And, I have to wonder if there is enough humanity in some people to ever stop and think of such things and how they treat others with such selfish and reckless disregard. I would truly hate to know that I have wasted my life being selfish, when doing things for others brings so much joy.

God bless you Uncle Lloyd. Thank you for being an example of patience, kindness and quiet strength in my life.

Love you!